Why You Need a Trusted Partner - Part Three

This is part two in a three-part series on why you need a trusted partner. You can find part one here, and part two here.

In parts one and two in this series, I’ve explained what a trusted partner is and the pros and cons of such a relationship. But what does a healthy partnership actually look like? And how do you build that kind of relationship with someone?

In this third and final part of the series, I discuss what a trusted and strategic partnership looks like, and how you can begin building this kind of relationship.

I see the good and the bad now, but what does this partnership actually look like?

Do you have a friend who you talk to about what’s going on in your life? Someone with whom you are completely open with, and tell your fears, your thoughts, your plans, and your wishes, and they share the same with you? That’s what a trusted, strategic partnership looks like.

Your partner is someone you talk to bounce an idea off of. They’re someone you expect to tell you about some new thing they learned about. You seek out their council, because you trust their opinion. You trust their judgment, not just about buying things, but in your strategy for your teams. You trust them to help you make a decision, to be a sounding board, and to help you solve problems in ways that they won’t make money from.

Your partner does the same with you too. They talk to you about what their other customers are doing, they ask your opinion on how you would approach a particular problem or customer or issue. They bounce ideas off of you, strategies off of you, and just make spontaneous, open discussions on any topic. They’ll ask you to be a reference for them, and they might help you find another job in the future.

To have a true, trusted and strategic partner is to have a good friend with whom you talk to about everything.

How do I start building that trusted partnership with someone?

So you’ve heard all the reasons why, all the benefits and risks to doing so, and now you want to know where to start and how. Well that’s the hard part, isn’t it? Finding a trusted partner is like dating to find a spouse to marry.

Here are a few tips to get you started:

1. Ask for referrals among your friends and peers – If you have any friends, mentors, or even acquaintances whose judgment you trust who work in your industry, ask them if they can suggest anyone. Describe the relationship you’re looking to establish, and see if they have someone they trust like that. Referrals through your network are the best way to find someone who is more likely to be trustworthy and worth your effort to build a relationship with.
2. Take inventory of vendors you work with now – Are there any whom you respect and trust? You likely already do some business with a few vendors, at least one of which might be worth talking to. Then…
3. Evaluate them – No matter how you find them, try to have more than one but less than five. You’ll need several since it’s likely only one or two will work out. Evaluate them in the areas of creative thinking, problem solving, integrity, honesty, transparency, work ethic, and reliability. You’ll have to determine for yourself how important each of these factors are to you, but once you do, ask probing questions to understand how they would or have acted in the past within each area. Treat it like a behavioral interview for a candidate you might hire, since that’s essentially what you’re doing.
4. As for recommendations – If they’ve been a trusted partner with other customers of theirs, those people should be happy to give their recommendation. Talk to those references and ask them how that partner has handled difficult situations, where they’ve been differentiators, and how they work with feedback.
5. Begin being open with them – Trust comes from sharing and being vulnerable. Start sharing more and more important things, little by little, and evaluate how they respond and the value of their responses. Do they reciprocate by trusting you in equally valuable ways? It won’t happen immediately, or even very quickly, but over the course of several months, and even years, you’ll build a strong relationship. If at any point you find them lacking, you can choose to keep the relationship where it is and try to find someone you can trust more, or end it entirely, depending on the value you’re getting out of it.

Conclusion

Building a trusted partnership with someone can easily take years. Be patient, but be shrewd. Be generous and forgiving, but be honest and logical. When you finally find those one or two partners you can trust, you’ll follow them to whatever company they move to. You’ll build strong friendships, even if they’re just work friendships, and they’ll yield invaluable benefits to not only your daily work life, but to your entire career.

I’d love to hear from you about what you think. Do you think having a trusted partner is worth it? How did you establish your partnership?

Want to hear about another topic? Something on your mind you want to talk about? I want to hear it!